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Water & Oil

by Jenni Rudolph

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about

"Water & Oil" has been slowly incubating for ~4 years. Through 4 years of learning (and un-learning), a few angsty lyric fragments transformed into a song that's become the soundtrack to my own journey with identity. I'm so grateful for all of the lovely mixed folks sharing their mixed voices through this project. I hope that this song can bring joy and belonging to my fellow mixed folks / mixed families, my transracial adoptee friends, my broader Asian American community and my broader Jewish community. <3

lyrics

I was just a child
with golden skin a little too thin
for a world so black and white
had me lying awake at night

Miss Misfit
I was foreign, wherever I went
I kept my spirit in
what a lonely way to live

like a traveling stranger
on the road to home
like a secret soldier
on enemy soil
I’m a clash of cultures
‘bout to overflow
I’m a freak of nature

[chorus:]
I’m water and oil
always out of my element
no blending in with either side
I’m water and oil
I can’t make up my mind
should I wash away the spark
or let it ignite?

as the seasons changed
being in-between was bittersweet
they would ask me “what are you?”
always “what” and never “who”

cuz I’m always treated
like some passing phase
a challenge, a mystery
an exotic toy
they dilute my history
and it fuels my shame
I’m caught between

[chorus:]
water and oil
always out of my element
no blending in with either side
I’m water and oil
I can’t make up my mind
should I wash away the spark or let it ignite?

we are water (we are water)
we are water (we are water)
we are oil
we are water (we are water)
we are water (we are water)
we are oil
I said we are water (we are water)
we are water (we are water)
we are oil
I said we are water (we are water)
we are water (we are water)
we are oil

I wanted bigger eyes, a smaller nose
smoother hair and thicker bones
thought it’d help me to belong
but life had blessed me all along

I got my backbone from my mama
got compassion like my father
I can flood or feed the flame
wasn’t made to be contained

and to all my mixed-up souls
you are worthy, you are whole
never let them kill your flow
we are meant to be water and oil

[chorus:]
this is me in my element
no blending in with either side
we're water and oil
I’ve made up my mind
won’t wash away the spark
I’mma let it ignite
we're water and oil

credits

released June 12, 2021
written and performed by Jenni Rudolph

featuring:
Amber Zetelmo Barksdale (vocals)
Amblashia (vocals)
Ashur Gharavi (vocals)
Claire Chaix (string arrangement, viola)
Co Co Hong (vocals)
Danny Moreno (vocals)
Denise January (vocals)
Elana Steingart (vocals)
Idalis Irizarry (vocals)
Lauren Lee (vocals)
Louisa Byron (violin)
Marla Kishimoto (vocals)
Nick Banducci (vocals)
Nikka (vocals)
Nina Celedonio (vocals)
Olivia Krent (vocals)
Stephanie Rudolph (vocals)
Suriya Schmidt (vocals)
Zino Haro (vocals)

produced and mixed by Stewart Mitchell
vocal produced by Jenni Rudolph
mastered by Sam Brawner

cover art by Noah Laroia-Nguyen

license

all rights reserved

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about

Jenni Rudolph Los Angeles, California

Jenni Rudolph is a songwriter, musician, and vocal producer from Southern California. With a hunger for authentically human stories and a taste for funky basslines, Jenni writes to make you feel whole, to make you feel connected, and to make you dance.

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